This may be the start of...

Before I really get started tonight I need to let everyone know that I'm not a "poor me" kind of person.  I don't like to have people feel sorry for me or go around looking for sympathy.  That being said...


For the last 6 months I've seen a change in Adam.  He has always been hard at times to handle, but the last few months have been hard.  I always thought that the older he got the easier it would get.  I think I may have been wrong.  He has a hard time with change and he really don't like it when you try to explan things to him.  He wants EVERYTHING his way.  That is really hard when you have more than one child in a family.  We have been blessed with a wonderful family who helps as much as they can or that we'll let them.  Today we went to lunch and I showed Adam the kids menu and told him to find what he wanted to eat.  He was not happy about this because I wanted him to read it for himself.  He got upset and told me that he couldn't read.  I know that he can and I wanted him to read and pick his own food today.  I have never done this before and in looking back on the situation I know that is the reason he got so upset.  He then started to SPEEK.  TO.  ME. VERY. STERNLY. and wave his hand at me.  Now this is something that he does often and we are trying to get him to stop.  I put my hand on his arm and told him he needed to stop speeking to me like that.  He angery pushed my hand away and put his head down and started to grumble about not being able to read again.  This went on for a few more minutes but then he finally told me what he wanted.  Good thing just about every menu has chicken strips on it.  He spent the rest of the meal making that really annoying sound that the straw make when your at the end of you drink.  However he wasn't at the end, he just likes to make the slurping sound.  So the whole time that we were trying to enjoy our rare lunch out, Adam was causing some kind of disturbance.  This was nothing like when he used to sit under the table and scream but it has been some time that we've had behavior like this. 

Later on the boys and I went to my mother-in-laws.  Just so you know I'm very close to her and tell her things that I don't tell my mom or my husband.  Adam still is acting up and I hope that he will calm down at grandmas.  To make a long story short he yells at me that I don't need to boss him when I tell him to eat the cookie in the kitchen.  My sister-in-law is there and trys to help by saying that moms are the boss and he gets very upset with her and thows a piece of his cookie at her.  She was surprised!  He hasn't really acted like that in front of her before so I think she was shocked.  At Easter she asked if this behavior was new because he was just like this then too.  I told her it wasn't and that he just hasn't shared it with everyone yet.

I sometimes feel like I can't do this anymore, but then he does something that melts my heart.  He is a very sweet boy.  He is very polite because I really push the mannors at home.  There is truely nothing better then to hear him laugh.  His laughter brings joy in our home.  I wouldn't change a thing about him but sometimes I feel defeated.  He is my special gift from God.  For that reason alone I will keep going and I will do the very best I can to teach him about life. 

I saved this last night and wasn't sure if I would share it or not.  I always feel like peple will think I'm looking for their sympathy and I'm not.  Maybe, just maybe someone will read this and know what it's like.  Matt has a friend that is a child psychologist and works wiht many Autistic kids.  She told him last night that this may be the start of puberty, and it could get worse.  I can only pray that God gives me strength for the next few years!