Saturday, February 2, 2013

My Heart Hurts.

So as some of you know I had a rough afternoon yesterday.  I say, I, because it effected me more than my son.  I got a call from my oldest sons classroom aid.  There were some boys that bullied Adam.  They got his lunch box away from him and kicked it around the lunch room.  He fell on the floor.  He is a bit dramamtic so we don't know if they hurt him and he fell or if he just fell because he's a bit of an actor.  Many other kids came to the rescue.  The boy who started it was sent home.  When Adam came home he was fine.  I asked him how his day went like I always do and he said it was good.  I then asked about what happend and he told me about it.  He wasn't bothered or upset at all.  He just acted like it was just a regular day. 

I, on the other hand, was hurt.  My heart ached for him.  I got off the phone and cryed my eyes out.  This is my child.  How could anyone want to hurt my child!  He is so loving and truely cares for others!  Why would these boys want to hurt Adam?

24 hours later this is what I think:  Kids who bully don't have good role models.  They are insecure.  They don't know how to react to people who are different than they are.  They may not have parents who spend quality time with them.  They are not taught right from wrong.  They are not held accountable for their actions by their parents.

Kids with a "history" of this kind of thing are a problem.  The boys who bullied Adam have a history of it.  How can a parent let their child have a "history" of bulling?!?!  This is what is so very wrong with our world!  Kids will always say things they shouldn't to each other.  They will always have disagreements with one another, but it's the "history" that is a problem.  I don't think bullying will ever stop.  It's like the fighting in the middle east, it started in the beginning of time and will forever be there until the end of time.  It is NOT okay to do but it's also never going to end.  We don't live in a perfect world so there will be hate no mater what.  It's what we do when we are the victim of hateful acts. 

Adam taught me a lesson.  Keep your head up and let things roll off you.  Don't let people bring you down.  Having friends that will stand up for you and help is a true gift!

I am so thankful that there were other kids who didn't just stand there.  They went and got help.  They are true hero's. 

When will bulling end?  I don't think it will until every parent out there is helpd accountable for their children.  How would you react if it was your child?  Would you be okay with your kid having a "history" of bullying?  What are your thoughts?

Friday, February 1, 2013

Well hello again!

So I've been away while.  I just looked at my blog and I had two post that I wrote but never published.  Well I just did it and I'm not sure I like the way they turned out.  I've been thinking lately that I need some sort of change in my life.  Not a big one like getting rid of my husband or anything but something little.  I've been thinking about all that has happend in the last year or two and I can't believe I didn't go bat shit crazy!! So here's to a new start...

So it's been awhile.  I haven't really had much time to write.  There are so many things I could be saying right now.  I just read my last post and want you all to know that all is well on that subject.  Now on to the reason for the post...

Many of you have been praying and supporting us through many challenges in our life.  The biggest for last school year and this one has been Ben and his struggles.  I'm so proud to say that all is going well with him this year.  He has been taking a medication and it has helped alot!  He is able to deal with daily life much better than last year.  We have started testing at school and hope to get him even more help if he needs it.  One of the other things that I believe has helped Ben this year other than meds is football.  This year he was able to play tackle football.  It gave him confidence that I know he lacked.  He had the best coaches you could ask for.  These men not only taught him the game, but how to be part of a team.  They gave him something to look forward to everyday.  They cheered him on and let him know that he was doing a good job.  He wasn't the best and he wasn't the worst.  He loved playing and looked forward to every game. 

Football has been good for me also.  For the first time in awhile I got to talk to other Moms.  If you don't know me, well, I am a bit shy.  I know, most of you are saying..yeah right, you shy...but I am.  I don't just walk up to someone and start talking.  I know that I sometimes come off as a snob, but I'm really not.  I just lack some self confidence when it comes to talking to other Moms at school.  I worry that I'm not good enough for them.  I worry about saying something that may offend them.  I worry that my hair is not right, or my clothes aren't good enough.  I worry that I'm overweight and they won't like me.  I worry that my kids are doing something that they will judge me for.  I know, I know, I worry to much.  I know that I am good enough.  I know that my boys are boys and they will make mistakes.  I know that clothes and hair don't make the person.  The thing is, I still have some of those insecurities that I had in high school. Talking to some of these football moms I found that we are all alot alike.  We all have our daily struggles.  We all have issues with our children.  We are not perfect.  I made some true friends through this.  I knew these ladies already but the friendship was build on the practice field.  I'm blessed to have them in my life and look forward to many more of our times together.  Thank you for all your support girls! 
Okay so I never thought I would be hearing those words again.  After you go though the many stages of finding out your child has Autism you put on your big girl panties and face it head on.  At first you just can't believe anything they are telling you.  Then you are all strong and brave for a few minutes than you just fall all apart.  After a while you see that things are going to be fine...maybe even good.  Then after a few years you don't even really think about what it would've been like because the child you have is an amazing person.  You can't even imagine him being any different. 

Life goes on and you are finally in a good place and then....BAM!!!  You hit that damn door again!  You are now going to all kinds of meetings at school and your making all kinds of doctor appointments.  Your trying to find out just what in the hell is going on.  This kid is nothing like your first child and if anyone should know if your child has something wrong then it should be you right?!?!  I mean come on... you have been though this before and you know all the signs.  Well guess what...there are many types of Autism.  Some signs get missed because you don't even really realize that they are there.  You don't notice it as much because they are not the in your face signs. 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Grown up words for little boys.

Yesterday my 7 year old goes in to talk to his dad.  Matt has been working nights and the boys have really been missing him.  Josh likes to sneek into our room when I'm not paying attention.  He goes in and wakes his dad up and talks to him.  He sneeks because he knows that I'll get after him for waking up his dad.  Matt usually is half asleep and doesn't really hear what Josh is saying.  Yesterday was no differant than any other day in that Matt really wasn't fully awake when Josh was talking.  However what Josh had said was something that Matt remembered.

My boys like to watch the Disney channel and Disney XD.  We don't let them watch Cartoon Network because there are very few kids cartoons on there anymore.  We have always thought that Disney was a safe channel.  Sure, there are a few shows that get under my skin but thats because there are adults who act like kids and kids who act like adults.  There are few other shows were the kids act immature and ridiculous.  Sometimes you hear someone say something about a girl being "hot" or that someone is stupid.  You can explain to your kids that those are words that you don't like them saying.  What Josh said was not something I wanted to explain to a 7 year old. 

The boys watch a show called Lab Rats.  I've watched it a few time with them and although it was annoying I didn't see any problem with it untill yesterday.  Josh told his dad that the computer in the show told the man "I can see you everywhere.  I can even see you in the shower and nothing should be that clean."  How do you explain to your 7 years old that he shouldn't ever repeat that to anyone. Shame on you Disney for allowing language like this in a kids show.  Sure we've all enjoyed some of the Disney movies in the last 20 years.  They have added some adult humor that gets missed by our kids and keeps us happy.  This however has gone a bit too far!  Is there anything wrong with wanting your children to stay children while they can?  They have to grow up fast enough, why do they have to rush it??  I'm still not sure what to do about the tv, but for now they can only watch Phineas and Ferb.

Friday, June 22, 2012

A fork in the road.

There comes a time in your life when you have a fork in the road and you just don't know what way to go.  I'm at that fork.  If I stay on the path I'm on things are just going to stay the way they are and I'm going to be unsettled all the time.  If I chose the other then my life will not be the same.  I really don't know what to do and I'm scared at the thought of things never being the same.  If I stay then I'm just letting myself get walked on and used again.  What to do...

I guess God has it all worked out and there really is nothing I can do without prayer and putting it in His hands.  I again think of my favorite verus and know all will be ok.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

Friday, June 1, 2012

Waiting, waiting waiting.  That's pretty much how the last six months have gone for us around here.  Waiting for the "big one" and I don't mean a heart attack.  Waiting for counselors, waiting for the psychiatrists, waiting for the big one!  I really get so tired of waiting!!  Now I'm waiting on a return phone call from the Henry Ford.  Our lives are being turned upside down and all we can do is wait!

Sorry about that I think I may have just had a mental break down.  I really don't want to go into a ton of detail, and I really don't want to tell the world whats going on in our private lives right now.  Just know that we are having some issues with our son and that we need all the prayers we can get.  Pray for peace for Benjamin.  Pray for strength for Matt and I.  Most importantly, if you hear something please don't be quick to judge.  We need all the love and support we can get right now from family and friends.