Change is hard! I think that it is not really the change, but the transition from the familiar to the new. It's the actual process that is hard. Once you get to the end result it's not that bad. Most of the time your happy once you get to the goal line. We deal with change everyday. Some things we expect to change like the weather, and for those of us in Michigan we know that could happen a few times in a day. Some things are life changing like a death or birth. The changes our family is going though right now are a bit life altering. How we handle the next few months is going to be interesting to say the least.
Our middle son, Ben, has been going though something. We aren't sure how things are going to turn out for him just yet, but we are working on it. We need a lot of love and prayers right now for him and for Matt and I. We are struggling to stay above water and we hope to find answers soon. As soon as I know more I might let you all in on it.
Matt and I have been doing some counseling. We have been blessed with a strong marriage. God has brought us together and He made Matt just for me. How lucky am I to have found the best husband. Our counseling is to help with the hard job of parenting our children. Most people have kids and have no trouble being great parents. We however are starting to have some trouble. We really have a situation that a lot of people are never faced with. The counseling is helping tremendously! I've now started to sit back and relax just a bit when it comes to the kids. We actually left them for the weekend last week. It was the first time we went away in almost 10 years. The last time we only had Adam. It was great to get away and focus on us. The counseling has also taught me that I need to try to be more understanding with my kids. I have been told that I was not a good Mother before and I think that really cut deep. I always feel that I'm being judged by those around me so I'm quick to react when I feel my boys are doing something "wrong" even though it may be some little thing that they can work out on their own. Holy run on sentence! Anyway, I've learned to ask "so what did we learn from this" so that they learn how to solve their own problems. I grew up in a house with a ton of yelling. I thought it was what eveyone did. Matt grew up in a house without yelling. This has always been a problem with our parenting styles. Matt never yells at the boys. He is such an amazing parent. I do, did, a lot of yelling. I'm really trying to stop. Tonight I handled a problem without yelling once.
The biggest change our family is facing right now is with Adam. He will be changing schools in a few weeks. This is a change that pretty much hit us in the face. It will be a good change in the end. It was one that we were prepared for in the fall, however it's happening now. Adam's teacher needed to take the rest of the year off. That is very hard on Autistic children. The sub that they get may not be the sub they have for the next few months. This was something that Adam had to deal with a few years ago and it didn't go well. We decided to send him to his new school this year instead of next year. That way he wouldn't have to deal with the change of a new sub every few days until they find a long term one. The hard thing about this move is that it's middle school. Adam is in 5th grade and he will be going to middle school. I know that it is still an ISD classroom and that he will get all the support he needs, but it's still middle school. My baby is going to MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! This is hard for me. It seems like yesterday I was putting him on the little preschool bus. The tears are starting to flow. I can't beleive my boy is growing up. I'm excited because I know that he will learn so much more than he has in the last few years, but at this point I just want to curl up with him and keep him young for as long as possible. As I sit here and type I keep remembering the Kermit the frog pj's. Oh how I miss those days.
Change. We need it to learn and to progress in life. It is so very hard at times. For our family, changes are for the good. I just hope that through the next few months we are all more understanding of each other. I know that it is something that is impossible to ask the kids, but for myself it is just what I need to be.
