Tonight I heard the words that most moms take for granted. Okay so maybe not take for granted but they do hear them and they hear them often. I've even heard these words but tonight it was different. Tonight they came from the boy who I never thought would say them.
I put the boys to bed at 8:30 everynight. Most nights someone gets up at least once. Most of the time it's Adam. Last night he was up because he needed to throw up. He does that a lot. The night before it was because I took down his water bottle to be washed and he needed a drink. So tonight he needed a breathing treatment and I had him come down for that after I put them to bed.
He did his treatment and went to get a drink. He went up and was back down in a few minutes. He was talking about the fire drill they had at school that day and was starting to get upset. He wanted to sleep with me. I told him no and he went back upstairs. Not a minute later he came back down again. He stood in the doorway of the living room and just looked at me. Then all of the sudden he came over to me, bent down and hugged me. I know most of you are like "ummm ok" but this is a hugh thing for him and for me. I get all warm and fuzzy inside and ask him were that came from. He then said the words that all us moms love to hear. He said "it's' just to say I love you." So who wouldn't get all sappy about that?!? I just melt! My eyes fill with tears and my heart is so full of love for this child that it feels like its going to burst.
You see, these are words that I never thought I would ever hear from him. Sure I've said it to him and he's said I love you back, but it's always been more of a response than his feelings. Tonight he said it for real. HE said it first! This is one of the best things that I could ever hear come out of his mouth. Don't get me wrong when Josh tells me he loves me more it melts my heart too, or when Ben runs and hugs me after school like I haven't seen him in days. Yeah that pulls the strings too. However this is way more than that. This is almost an "in your face autisum!"
My boys has overcome so much in his life that it's amazing. To me though this is the biggest hurdle that he could ever jump. The ability to let someone know how you feel is so easy for most of us but this is a very hard thing for him. I'm so very thankful that I got to feel those word tonight. I thank God everyday for giving me my boys, but tonight I'm also thankful for the crazy journey that brought Adam and I to this very special moment in time. Without Jesus being on my side I don't think I could have made it to this day. Adam has taught all of us in this family so much more about life and the true meaning of it. God has blessed us! I hope that you all someday get your "in your face" day. Your families struggle may not be with autism but what ever it is know that with God all things are possible.
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