Stress

So am I losing my mind or what?  This is a honest question.  I seem to forget EVERYTHING lately.  I'm not sure anymore if I'm coming or going.  I have over scheduled myself so much in the last two weeks that I didn't even know what day it was today.  My wonderful husband got up this afternoon, looked at the thingy majig on the table and asked if I went to get the part for the camper fridge.  Well of course I didn't!  I completely forgot!  Why would I remember something like that?!?  Next he asked if I had got his meds refilled.  Well, I did try to do that on Sunday (actually it was my sis-in-law,but hey whatever), but they needed to call the doctor.  I called them back and of course they haven't heard from the doctors office yet.  I mean really!! After Josh's tee ball game, the boys and I go to Kroger in Lambertville to get the meds.  We also have to return a Redbox video game that Josh rented last night.  We go, return the game, and get a dino egg out of the vending machine.  As I'm pulling out and see a pharmacy tech getting into their car I remember why we drove to Lambertville anyway!  I forgot the dang med!!!  This is only a small example of how I think I'm losing my mind. 

Tonight was our last baseball game.  I am so happy that it's over!  Don't get me wrong, I love watching my boys play.  They are so funny sometimes.  I'm not so sure that baseball will be their thing.  Ben is still afraid of the ball.  He lets it go past him everytime.  He would reather chase the ball than catch it.  Josh is just plan bored.  I'm not sure if it's because tee ball is a boring game or if he just doesn't like it.  Tonight he got a hit, a good hit, and when he got on first base he sat down and started to put rocks on his head.  When he's up to bat he talks to the coach who is pitching the whole time.  His mouth never really stops.  Now that baseball is over the Summer should slow down right?!  Well....

Vacation Bible school is this week.  I'm the director.  That means I have to plan everything.  I have to get everything.  I make sure the leaders have everything.  Make sure we have everything for the crafts and for snack.  The biggest thing I have to do is be responsible for all the kids who are there.  It may sound like this is me complaining.  It's not, I LOVE every minute of it.  I love the kids who come and are excited about hears the lessons and doing the crafts.  I love to hear the kids learn the songs that thay sing.  I love when a child who never hears much about Jesus remembers their Bible verse for the day.  I love that I get to spend time with my dear friend, who is also my right hand, everyday!  I love the memories of my times at VBS as a child and how much I loved going everyday.  I love being the director for VBS.  I'm am a bit of a control freak about somethings so this fits me well.  So, I forgot the baskets this morning for Mary to serve bread out of...

We are going camping next month.  It's going to be a big trip and I've been kind of stressed out about it.  One night last week I was up all night puking.  I was so worried that we were not going to be able to go that I was making myself sick.  I was stressing about the money it's going to cost to do the things we wanted to, and about the price of gas.  I was a mess.  I had been helping put new roof on my in-laws house for the last two days.  Yes, I was on a roof taking shingles off and helping put new ones on.  My house looked like hurricane Jensen had been though it.  I was feeling defeated.  My mom came and helped me get things back in order.  I really don't know what I'd do without her sometimes.  I will say that I enjoyed doing the roof and helped all last week and weekend.

Though all of this stress I realized something.  Something that I know deep down in my soul.  Something that I had used to get though a lot more than just baseball, VBS, and a camping trip across four States.  This something is more powerful than anything you could ever imagine.  The Word of God.  That no matter how much I worry, God already has it all worked out.  I'm not usually that much of a worrier, but his time holy hannah have I been worried.  These things that have been stressing me out are minor.  They are things that I could very easily said no too.  These things are all things that I WANT to do.  I could never imagine not  wanting to see my boys play a sport.  I want to be the director for VBS, and I REALLY want to go on vacation with my husband family.  Through all of this I'm reminded of my favorite verse from the Bible.  The one that I go to all the time:

Matthew 6:33-34  33 But seek first His kingdom and  His  righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I know that what I'm stressing out about is all stuff that if it's Gods will then it will happen.  I no longer have the stress, but I still seem to be losing my mind at times.  I think that comes from having three boys with me everyday.  That too is something that I would never change.

No longer a baby.

So today my baby graduated....from kindergarten that is.  This was my last kindergarten graduation and it is bittersweet.

 When Adam graduated from kindergarten I felt pride and releaved.  Now he would be in school all day and I could get a little break.  Not a big break , but a VERY little one.  Ben and Josh were both still very little and I would now only have two at home all day.  I did have some tears, but they were from the pride that I had.  Okay... and maybe a little from the fact that he was forgotten in the slide show because he was the only ISD kid.

  Two years later came Benjamin's kindergarten graduation. He was so proud of himself.  He loved school.  He was a social butterfly and still is.  He is also tender hearted.  He is a very sensitive kid and I love this about him.  I didn't get tears at all with this one.  I was in somewhat of a funk when Ben was in kindergarten.  I had a very crazy work schedule and retail is not a forgiving career when it comes to kids. I was still trying to balance my work schedule and my family time and it wasn't working well at all!

  Fast forward two years later and here we are today!  It's Joshua's turn.  All he has talked about for the last week and a half was graduation.  When he woke up this morning he wanted to wear his "church cloths and shoes" as he put it.  I always lay down with him in the morning to wake him up because he is NOT a morning person.  This morning he woke up, smiled and said "graduation day today and lazy day tomorrow."  He ate his cereal and was ready before Ben even finished eating. He couldn't wait to get to school today.  He has really grown up this year. This graduation was a lot different than the others.  Not only was this my baby, but it was the realization that he wasn't a baby.  I had tears!  I had a lot more tears than I ever thought I would.  I have a few right now as I write.  My baby is no longer a baby.

  Our family has had a lot of changes in the last four years.  One thing has stayed the same...my joy of being their mom. 

Blessings.

I want to know how a single mother does it!  I think they have the hardset job ever.  I really don't know how I would ever manage to raise my three boys without my husband.  That being said, this week I feel like a single mother. 

I've been married for almost 14 years.  My husband is my very best friend in the world.   Matt is not only a great husband, but is an amazing Dad.  My mom once asked him if he could "babysit" the boys so I do something with her.  He said that a parent doesn't babysit their own children.  He is a very patient person and is a way better parent than I am.

Matt has been working like CRAZY the last two months.  He has worked just about every one of his days off.  We are trying very hard to save money to go on a big camping trip.  He took off Memorial day weekend so we could go camping.  It was great!!  However this week has been one thing after another and I feel like I have ran a marathon.  I knew that being a stay at home mom again was going to be busy but I really forgot how busy this really is.  I used to think that it would get easier as the boys got older.  HA...HA...HA...jokes on me!  I don't have time to do anything other than what the boys need and I really don't think I would want it any other way.  I do feel like a single parent these days but I know that it's going to be worth it when we go on our vacation next month.  I'm really looking forward to spending time with my husband before he starts working like crazy again.  God has given me so many blessings in my life and I think that my husband is the biggest blessing He gave me.  Without Matt I wouldn't have my boys, and they are the second biggest.  They used to ask me who I loved the most.  I would tell them that I loved them all the same, but I loved Daddy differant than them.  They would ask why and I told them that they can grow up and get married and leave me but their Dad can't!  He's stuck with me forever, and I'm so glad that I got stuck with him.

When we first got married my mom used to say that God sent Matt staight from heaven to me.  I think she was right.